Sunday 24 July 2011
How to attract a weirdo without really trying!!!
I have removed this blog due to the content being too funny!!!!!!
Monday 20 June 2011
Me + Dating = disaster!
Well hello again ....would you like to be amused by my dating attempts? You would? Then sit back and enjoy!
Let me see.....it may be best if I go from most recent backwards....
My latest date was a coffee date with a Facebook friend, I thought it went well, we mentioned looking forward to future dates and when I returned home I posted a similar comment on my wall which he liked...promising eh? Yes, then suddenly he deleted me as a friend with no explanation....NOBODY does this to me so I sent him a friend request with a message of 'let's be friends I can take it if you don't want another date' - he accepted my request and apologized, awwwwwww, then I deleted him! (It's the principal of the thing!)
Prior to that was an online flirty friendship, with comments made by him that gave me the courage to ask him out...his reply? 'I have just started seeing someone'!
(seeing the pattern yet?)
Then there was the 2 friends that....oh wait no that wasn't a disaster!
Now the following are in no particular order....
There was the man who I actually went on 2 dates with (why?!) On the first date, I picked him up in my car which had black and red seats of which he asked if I knew they were that colour before I bought the car, then I fell over on the way to the restaurant and sat at the table pressing napkins to my bleeding knees (am I good at first impressions or what?!) We then went to his local, which was actually one end of Douglas Prom whilst he lived way over at the other end (huh?!) which turned out to be the local for his ex and her new man! The second date was a homecooked meal at his, the food was nice....that was the only good bit! He finished my sentences for me (wrongly) he had a low opinion of anyone who didn't agree with him and throughout the conversation kept talking about his ex whilst nodding to a point behind me, which I guessed was a photo of her. I managed to avoid looking at it until he basically gave me no choice but to turn around and there was their wedding photo! Whilst he was clearing the dishes I got my son to ring me with an emergency, and sadly had to leave early! He kindly walked me to my car, commenting, as he walked behind me, that he loved a woman with a big arse....I never saw him again! (I did contact him to say I didn't think he was ready for dating)
Oh then there was the time I got dumped BEFORE our first date!
Then there was the one from the dating site, who stated he was single, which I found out to be untrue (actually the dating site is littered with them) the funny side of this is he was putting it about for several years then discovered his wife was doing the same and didn't see the irony of posting about her infidelity on his FB wall and complained about it!
Then there was the woman hater who thought people kept away from him due to an unfortunate skin condition....no they kept away from him due to the massive chip on his shoulder! (His mother has a lot to answer for).
Oh there was also the man who's idea of a perfect date was a take away at his, served on paper plates with wine in disposable cups sat at hospital bed tables (I kid you not!)
The man who sent me a picture of himself, then arrived on the island for a weekend looking 20 years older than said picture.
Or there is the one who over dinner confided in me that he liked his women to have intimate piercings.
There have also been those awkward moments when you have been chatted up by someone, in one case actually gone on a date with them, to have them come into the office you work in with their partner to register the birth of their newborn.....
The guy who left the island the day after one date (to be fair he did return ....with someone else)
There is also the time a promising relationship was ruined by Manx Telecom having a problem sending texts which resulted in a text appearing on his phone under my name which wasn't sent by me (this is true, I even got MT to send me an email explaining what happened so I could forward it to him).
Oh and a known personality (only known on the island and even then d list) who basically wanted a harem of women who could cater to his every need, he was very upfront with this information.
There is also the Internet tart who, whilst dating me, was putting himself about quite a bit!
This list may seem very dire but please bear in mind it spans an 11 year period and there were good times in between the disasters, namely one who was great fun to be with and even rang my friend to let her know what we had just done in the thunderstorm, and the previously mentioned 2 friends! I am also still friends with a couple of the above mentioned disasters!
There may be more but I may have blocked them from my mind for being too traumatic......
Let me see.....it may be best if I go from most recent backwards....
My latest date was a coffee date with a Facebook friend, I thought it went well, we mentioned looking forward to future dates and when I returned home I posted a similar comment on my wall which he liked...promising eh? Yes, then suddenly he deleted me as a friend with no explanation....NOBODY does this to me so I sent him a friend request with a message of 'let's be friends I can take it if you don't want another date' - he accepted my request and apologized, awwwwwww, then I deleted him! (It's the principal of the thing!)
Prior to that was an online flirty friendship, with comments made by him that gave me the courage to ask him out...his reply? 'I have just started seeing someone'!
(seeing the pattern yet?)
Then there was the 2 friends that....oh wait no that wasn't a disaster!
Now the following are in no particular order....
There was the man who I actually went on 2 dates with (why?!) On the first date, I picked him up in my car which had black and red seats of which he asked if I knew they were that colour before I bought the car, then I fell over on the way to the restaurant and sat at the table pressing napkins to my bleeding knees (am I good at first impressions or what?!) We then went to his local, which was actually one end of Douglas Prom whilst he lived way over at the other end (huh?!) which turned out to be the local for his ex and her new man! The second date was a homecooked meal at his, the food was nice....that was the only good bit! He finished my sentences for me (wrongly) he had a low opinion of anyone who didn't agree with him and throughout the conversation kept talking about his ex whilst nodding to a point behind me, which I guessed was a photo of her. I managed to avoid looking at it until he basically gave me no choice but to turn around and there was their wedding photo! Whilst he was clearing the dishes I got my son to ring me with an emergency, and sadly had to leave early! He kindly walked me to my car, commenting, as he walked behind me, that he loved a woman with a big arse....I never saw him again! (I did contact him to say I didn't think he was ready for dating)
Oh then there was the time I got dumped BEFORE our first date!
Then there was the one from the dating site, who stated he was single, which I found out to be untrue (actually the dating site is littered with them) the funny side of this is he was putting it about for several years then discovered his wife was doing the same and didn't see the irony of posting about her infidelity on his FB wall and complained about it!
Then there was the woman hater who thought people kept away from him due to an unfortunate skin condition....no they kept away from him due to the massive chip on his shoulder! (His mother has a lot to answer for).
Oh there was also the man who's idea of a perfect date was a take away at his, served on paper plates with wine in disposable cups sat at hospital bed tables (I kid you not!)
The man who sent me a picture of himself, then arrived on the island for a weekend looking 20 years older than said picture.
Or there is the one who over dinner confided in me that he liked his women to have intimate piercings.
There have also been those awkward moments when you have been chatted up by someone, in one case actually gone on a date with them, to have them come into the office you work in with their partner to register the birth of their newborn.....
The guy who left the island the day after one date (to be fair he did return ....with someone else)
There is also the time a promising relationship was ruined by Manx Telecom having a problem sending texts which resulted in a text appearing on his phone under my name which wasn't sent by me (this is true, I even got MT to send me an email explaining what happened so I could forward it to him).
Oh and a known personality (only known on the island and even then d list) who basically wanted a harem of women who could cater to his every need, he was very upfront with this information.
There is also the Internet tart who, whilst dating me, was putting himself about quite a bit!
This list may seem very dire but please bear in mind it spans an 11 year period and there were good times in between the disasters, namely one who was great fun to be with and even rang my friend to let her know what we had just done in the thunderstorm, and the previously mentioned 2 friends! I am also still friends with a couple of the above mentioned disasters!
There may be more but I may have blocked them from my mind for being too traumatic......
Monday 25 April 2011
A little bit about me
I was born Tuesday ('full of grace' yeah right) 13th October 1970, according to my mother almost head first down the toilet...I started how I meant to go on. I was raised initially in Essex, until my parents realised that in future years I may end up on a reality TV show and moved me and my older sister to the Isle of Man.
From an early age my mother enjoyed dressing me up at the slightest excuse; Queen Elizabeth I for the jubilee and a Playboy bunny girl (I was 6!) for a school fancy dress competition (I won) are 2 occasions that spring to mind. Once on the Isle of Man, my parents ran a very successful cafe for several years, a cafe I waitressed in to earn my pocket money. Again my mother's tendency to want to dress me up surfaced and I was given little aprons to wear for one particular customer (where on earth were social services at this time?!)
My childhood also included falling over a lot (remember 'full of grace'!) and going to school. During this time I grew a few inches both upwards and outwards, learnt stuff and passed exams. I got a job at the local cinema as an usherette, which led to a pathological hatred of Top Gun (made to sit through it 13 nights in a row) and a fear of The Shining poster (you go into a dark room where that is the first thing you see when you switch the light on and you won't be laughing then!) but also encouraged my love of films.
At this point I left school and went to work in a bank, a job I was not suited to at all. I could not bring myself to charge customers for any letters I sent out to them - so if you ever received a bank letter signed by either 'Sandra Jones' or 'Sandra Willis' you never had to pay for it! This time of my life also includes my getting married at the tender age of 19, a terrible choice at the time due to wedding photos showing terrible 80's perm and puffy dress (I blame my mother's early influence of dressing me up). The following year I gave birth to my eldest son, he arrived on Sunday 16th June 1991 at 1.06pm weighing in at an eye watering 8lbs 8 1/2 ozs. I also changed career and became a childminder. My son was a placid baby and toddler which led me to decide to have another, and on Sunday 30th January 1994 at 3.15am weighing in at an eye popping 9lbs 1oz my youngest son was born. He was a handful and believe me if he had been first he would have been an only child! Both boys have since grown up to be sons I am very proud of.
I changed careers again to care assistant at a home for the elderly and then a residential social worker for adults with learning disabilities. Then I made a life changing decision and split from my husband, due to the fact I no longer wanted to be a doormat. I then changed career again and for several years I was a civil registrar for births, marriages and deaths.
In this period of my life I learnt that some members of the opposite sex found me attractive; I stopped traffic 1 TT week as I crossed Douglas Promenade (a memory I will hold onto for life) and I also got chatted up by the weird and not so wonderful - something I will go into in more depth another time. However due to a promise I made to my then 8 year old son that it would only ever be me, him and his little brother I remained single - now that he is almost 20 I would appreciate it if he freed me from that promise!
My many dating experiences will be detailed in another blog, you will need tissues for the tears of laughter that will stream down your face.
This now brings me to now - well last year I left my Registrar job and this year I now do less stressful and more fun jobs, including being an Ann Summers Party Organiser. Last year also saw the birth of my gorgeous grandson who arrived on Friday 9th April 2010 at 5.23pm weighing in at 9lbs 1oz (just like his uncle).
So here we are my first blog, more will follow and will include my dating disasters (including being dumped before the first date) and other embarrassing moments (like when i sent a rather rude photo of self to a local radio station by accident!).
Hopefully see you back here soon for more.
Sandie x
From an early age my mother enjoyed dressing me up at the slightest excuse; Queen Elizabeth I for the jubilee and a Playboy bunny girl (I was 6!) for a school fancy dress competition (I won) are 2 occasions that spring to mind. Once on the Isle of Man, my parents ran a very successful cafe for several years, a cafe I waitressed in to earn my pocket money. Again my mother's tendency to want to dress me up surfaced and I was given little aprons to wear for one particular customer (where on earth were social services at this time?!)
My childhood also included falling over a lot (remember 'full of grace'!) and going to school. During this time I grew a few inches both upwards and outwards, learnt stuff and passed exams. I got a job at the local cinema as an usherette, which led to a pathological hatred of Top Gun (made to sit through it 13 nights in a row) and a fear of The Shining poster (you go into a dark room where that is the first thing you see when you switch the light on and you won't be laughing then!) but also encouraged my love of films.
At this point I left school and went to work in a bank, a job I was not suited to at all. I could not bring myself to charge customers for any letters I sent out to them - so if you ever received a bank letter signed by either 'Sandra Jones' or 'Sandra Willis' you never had to pay for it! This time of my life also includes my getting married at the tender age of 19, a terrible choice at the time due to wedding photos showing terrible 80's perm and puffy dress (I blame my mother's early influence of dressing me up). The following year I gave birth to my eldest son, he arrived on Sunday 16th June 1991 at 1.06pm weighing in at an eye watering 8lbs 8 1/2 ozs. I also changed career and became a childminder. My son was a placid baby and toddler which led me to decide to have another, and on Sunday 30th January 1994 at 3.15am weighing in at an eye popping 9lbs 1oz my youngest son was born. He was a handful and believe me if he had been first he would have been an only child! Both boys have since grown up to be sons I am very proud of.
I changed careers again to care assistant at a home for the elderly and then a residential social worker for adults with learning disabilities. Then I made a life changing decision and split from my husband, due to the fact I no longer wanted to be a doormat. I then changed career again and for several years I was a civil registrar for births, marriages and deaths.
In this period of my life I learnt that some members of the opposite sex found me attractive; I stopped traffic 1 TT week as I crossed Douglas Promenade (a memory I will hold onto for life) and I also got chatted up by the weird and not so wonderful - something I will go into in more depth another time. However due to a promise I made to my then 8 year old son that it would only ever be me, him and his little brother I remained single - now that he is almost 20 I would appreciate it if he freed me from that promise!
My many dating experiences will be detailed in another blog, you will need tissues for the tears of laughter that will stream down your face.
This now brings me to now - well last year I left my Registrar job and this year I now do less stressful and more fun jobs, including being an Ann Summers Party Organiser. Last year also saw the birth of my gorgeous grandson who arrived on Friday 9th April 2010 at 5.23pm weighing in at 9lbs 1oz (just like his uncle).
So here we are my first blog, more will follow and will include my dating disasters (including being dumped before the first date) and other embarrassing moments (like when i sent a rather rude photo of self to a local radio station by accident!).
Hopefully see you back here soon for more.
Sandie x
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